An Attitude of Gratitude

I find myself often, wishing I had a better attitude. Like I don't have control over it? I have complete control, yet I am choosing not to have a good attitude. "Good" meaning an attitude that displays gratitude. My company had to let three people go yesterday. Very sad, but necessary for the business aspect of things. How often I have taken my job for granted and the blessings that come with it. Wow... I have not had a grateful attitude in the past. Not because I don't like my job, but because I am focused more on the "next" thing or event and not taking time to enjoy the blessings I currently have. So much of my life has been waiting... waiting for the "next" thing or event to happen. What a waste in some ways. Not that I don't need to plan ahead... I do, but I don't want to think life will begin to get great "tomorrow" or "next week". It is great today. I want to be thankful for today. I want to use the time I have in this moment, not always dreaming about the "next".

So, with that said...

Thanks God, for the wonderful job You have given me, for the home I have, for the family I am part of, for the church I attend, for the Salvation You have given me, for the love You bless me with, the friends that You have placed in my life, the car I drive, the food You provide, the puppy that brings me joy, the hobbies that fill my time, the talents I rarely use (sorry), for the eternity I will have someday with You. Sorry I have complained, sorry I have misused the things You have given me, sorry that I have cared more about my agenda or getting somewhere on time than about the person that is standing in front of me... or driving in front of me. May I be more mindful of the daily blessings and be more willing to give of myself for others. Not because I have to, but because I want to.

Love, Me

Psalm 51:1-17

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51:1-17

Necessity Verses Luxury

My pastor gave a fantastic sermon this past Sunday about the “Fear of Poverty”. Very interesting. Part of his sermon was about the things we “need” verses the things that are luxuries. Interesting thing to ponder as I got ready this morning... looking at the “luxuries” I use every day thinking they are necessities. Such as: make-up, deodorant, perfume, mirrors, curling iron, hair spray, indoor plumbing, dog treats, my dog, a lunch bag, retractable dog leash, screen door, TV, radio, alarm clock, humidifier, night stand lamp, curtains, blinds, carpet, washer and dryer in my home, electricity, refrigerator, microwave, hot water heater, DVD player, VCR, converter box for the TV, couch, chairs, table... I could go on and on. Because, if I really think about it, I only need what God says I need: protection from the elements and food. That’s it. We live life thinking and desiring things we don’t even need.

So... what am I going to change? Do I have things because I am greedy and selfish or are they things I can consider blessings? I think it is probably both. Because, do I really need four DVD players? Yep... four, for one person, that is a bit excessive right? Grant it, I have one for each TV (ouch, I have 2 TV’s) and then my PS2 can be a DVD player, then I have a portable DVD player. But does that justify my excess? Sure, I count them as blessings, but can they also be a curse?

I don’t think I have to live a life void of any luxuries, but I do wonder what I could give up in order to prioritize my life for Christ. Do I own my possessions, or do they own me?

Thought from a devotional tool I use (www.christnotes.org): Eliminate everything unnecessary in your life in order to put first things first.

Verses to ponder:

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:19-21

Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Luke 18:25

Spiritual Warfare

I have been listening to the book "This Present Darkness", by Frank Peretti and have been challenged in my earthly thinking. As humans, we "normally" do not see the spiritual warfare that is occurring around us. We live in our physical world and trust that what we see is... what we get. However, thinking about the work of the angels (God's messengers and doers of HIS will) and the evil work and deeds of the demons (satan's helpers in his deception and anti-Christ ways) I am reminded, we are not alone as humans.

In this book I am listening to on CD, the demons' voices are harsh and scary, but as I ponder the reader's interpretation, I definitely wonder at the accuracy of the "harsh and scary" voices chosen. One reason being is that satan is deceptive. He would not always use something harsh and scary to draw us into sin. Sometimes, when people are freakishly drawn to horrible images, yes, that could be accurate, but for the most part, I think satan uses appealing ways to draw us into darkness. Think about a seductive voice or how beauty can be used to pull someone into pornography or adultery, are they not alluring and attractive? Only when the true reality of the darkness seeps into us, and the Holy Spirit reveals the darkness of those evil ways, does the true ugliness come forth.

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 (NIV)

13For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. 14And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. 15It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

I want "my" reality to be accurate and be illuminated by God's Holy Word. I want to see the world as God wants me to see it, so that I can be of service to and for HIM. I do not want to make excuses for my sin and I do not want to live in ignorance of it either. It scares me in some ways to ask God to reveal HIS truth to me. It means I will have the responsibility to act on that truth and to live out that truth in every way. With more knowledge comes more responsibility. Am I ready to know all the ways evil is thrown at me and how I need to resist it all? Am I ready to be sensitive to the spiritual battles that surround me and be in constant prayer for those struggling? Am I ready to give my life for the cause of Christ, so that HIS work can be accomplished? I need to answer that question with a bold: YES. But sometimes I feel I answer that question with a little wimpy... "maybe". So today, I am going to be bold and say: YES. I will trust Christ for the strength to say that every day going forward. I cannot rely on my strength, only HIS.

Ephesians 6:11-20 (NIV)

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Jesus Messiah, by Chris Tomlin

I cannot wait until every knee bows and every tongue confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord. What a day that will be! I am still learning how to give honor and glory to HIM here on earth, but someday it will become my inward nature all day, every day, to worship the King! He so deserves our praise and thanks!

The following are the Lyrics to Jesus Messiah, by Chris Tomlin. We are singing it for church choir. It is an amazing song.

He became sin
Who knew no sin
That we might become His Righteousness
He humbled himself and carried the cross

Love so amazing
Love so amazing

Chorus:
Jesus Messiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of all

His body the bread
His blood the wine
Broken and poured out all for love
The whole earth trembled
And the veil was torn

Love so amazing
Love so amazing, yeah

Chorus:
Jesus Messiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of all

All our hope is in You
All our hope is in You
All the glory to You, God
The light of the world

Chorus:
Jesus Messiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of all
Lord of all
Lord of all

Emotional...

Today has been an emotional day for me. Not a bad day, just emotional and very unexpected. I got up early and was in line to vote by 7am. Just after 7, I looked back at the long line and saw a young man that looked so much like my younger brother, Paul, I had to keep staring at him (poor guy). (My brother Paul, passed away on April 20th, 2008). I could not believe my eyes. I kept going over his features, same color hair, same complexion, same color eyes, same mouth, same body structure, it was bizarre. After a few minutes of looking at him at different angles, I found some things that were not similar, his nose, his cheek bones, he was a bit thinner, but up until that point, I was almost wondering if Paul had a twin. But after some time, my brain registered the differences and I came back to reality and logical thinking. However, it definitely created an emotional experience for me. Plus, I had a dream last night that my little Millie (my dog) was hit and killed by a car and in the same dream my parents (who have been divorced since I was 14) were camping together and arguing over something. All of it was very strange. So weird how the mind works sometimes. I have seen movies before where a mom will have lost a little child and then she sees a child that looks similar and she freaks out and does something crazy. I get it, not that I would ever do anything crazy, but the mind can definitely convince you of untrue things.

With that said... I praise God for the truth of HIS Word. That I can go to it and sift the things that happen in this world through what HE tells me is true. I can ask God to show me HIS truth and to keep reality in check for me. I am reminded, that it is a process sometimes. Just like I needed a few minutes and several glances to convince myself that Paul was definitely gone and that this young man was not Paul and not a twin, sometimes it will take several times of meditation or reading a Bible verse to understand what God is telling me. Also, that changing of character is a process and I will not change overnight. In Bible Study this morning, we spoke about how everything happens in God’s timing and HIS timing is not our own. AMEN to that!

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

“Respectable Sins”

I was listening to Family Life radio the other day (I think 10/29/08). Jerry Bridges was the guest on the show and he was speaking about his book, “Respectable Sins”. I did not catch a great deal of the show, but the part I caught has had me thinking...

“Respectable Sins” seem to be the sins we let slide by as Christians. Either because we do not want to address the issue or because we do not think of them as sin. I am not sure which is the better option. As I looked at my life and the other believers around me, I saw those so called “respectable sins”. The sin of gluttony, laziness, being a poor steward, gossip, obsession (over TV shows, scrap-booking, sports, business, work, etc.), idolatry (putting things of this world before our one True God and being obedient to HIM), cutting other people down to make ourselves look better (pride, not loving our neighbor)

When I have some extra funds, I think I need to buy Jerry Bridges’ book. I caught one other thing he said. It was something about how we claim: “I cannot overcome a particular sin.” The truth is, we can, through Christ and HIS sacrifice overcome any sin of this world. But the question is: Do we want to? AND Are we willing to submit ourselves fully to Christ, die to ourselves so that HE can refine us and clense us of a specific sin(s)?

So many thougths...

I will end with this verse:

Romans 6:1-3

Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

Fridays...

So another Friday is here again. All week I can't wait until it is Friday. Why is that? It is not like the rest of the week is horrible. Do I love sleep so much that the idea of staying up late Friday and sleeping in Saturday makes me change how I perceive my days? Weekends mean a chance to spend time at home, time with friends, time with family. Their is no rush on the weekends like there is on weekday nights. Monday through Thursday night, if I do something with friends, I rush home to get to bed early... but Friday night and Saturday night can go a bit later (not too much later... I am getting old you know).

I want to change that perspective on life. I want each day to hold a longing to live life. I want to jump out of bed praising and thanking God and I want to make the most of the time I have on this earth. I don't want to get to the end of my life wishing I had "lived" more. I want to stop worrying and take some leaps of faith.

Quotes from the movie "Hitch":

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away".

"Begin each day like it was on purpose."

Slow Fade

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

1 John 1:5-7

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Eph. 5:8-10


In thinking on the above verses, I am convicted about what I watch on TV and for movies. It is not like I seek out bad movies or TV to watch, but I definitely watch things that do not bring glory to God and are offensive to Who HE is. Why do I do this? To be entertained? Seriously, most of the time I am not entertained by them. Sure, I might chuckle at a joke or find the situation between a husband and wife in a sitcom funny. However, if I think about how so many shows belittle the covenant of marriage, I should never even consider watching them. Why is a nagging wife funny? Or a husband mocking his wife’s concerns about their children or the time they spend together entertaining? If I was watching such things in real life, I would be very sad for them. I don’t want a marriage like those I see on television.

A friend of mine told me about a situation concerning her daughter at school. She is 13 and a wonderful sweet girl. Her history teacher wanted to watch “The Patriot” in class as a historical reference to the war. It is rated R and the teacher had to send home permission slips to allow the kids to watch the movie. I am so thankful that her parents did not sign the slip. As they put it, the movie is desensitizing and full of images a 13 year old should not be viewing. They explained to their daughter that they love her enough to protect her from things that would not be of benefit to her. They used better words, but that is the idea.

There are images in my past that I wish I could not recall, and most were scene on TV or in movies. We cannot remove those images once they are there.

So... with that said. I am going to make a huge effort to protect me little eyes, ears and hands from things that do not benefit my relationship with God. That is what I am called to do as a believer.

The song, “Slow Fade”, by Casting Crowns is in the movie: “Fireproof” (a movie everyone should see, by the way). Check the song out when you have some time. For the journey into darkness is a slow fade. But will come upon you in a moment when your defenses are down.

Boredom

So, whenever I would baby-sit, I would use the same response my mom would when one of the kids said, “I ‘m bored”. I then would say, “Well, I can find you something to do”. Sometimes it would be a fun activity and other times it would be work. Here is my dilemma: I am bored. I am feeling as if I need something really different in life, yet I fear change. I want the comfort of everything to stay the same, yet I am craving a great adventure. I WANT someone to give me work to do.

I am not sure how to solve this problem of boredom. Do I need a new career? Do I need to start a new hobby?... But what hobby and will it cost money I don’t have? I have activity in my life. I just started a small group at church, choir and helping in the library. I do things with many friends and enjoy my puppy. So I don’t think activity is part of why I am bored.

I took Millie outside this morning to use the outdoor facilities and the stars were gorgeous. How can I be bored in this wonderful universe God has made for us? How can I be so stagnant and not try new things? How can I just sit on the sidelines as life passes by? I am making a commitment right now: I am going to be more adventurous. I am going to be passionate about life and use the gifts and talents God has given me.

There, that is solved, so what next?

Is it about Me?

A friend of mine and I were talking this weekend and I am so thankful for her insight! She is taking a class at Cornerstone and it is really challenging her thinking and her faith perception. The class is bringing to the service how "The Church" in our generation of believers is centered on self-help... What can "I" get from my faith. What can "I" do to become a "better" Christian. While that is a great idea in general... for we need to grow in our faith and to search out ways that will help us to grow and to change. The idea put forth in her class is (at least what I got from our conversation... sorry if I distort it): Isn't is suppose to be about God? Worshiping HIM, serving HIM, praising HIM, thanking HIM and seeking HIM. So much of what I do as a believer centers on me. What should "I" do to witness to others. Where should "I" serve to help show Christ's love. I know helping others is part of it. I know being a witness for Christ is also part of walking the talk. But, somehow could I be going about it in a wrong way?

I find this concept so interesting. Part of me gets why we are in a self-help phase... for we (in general) need a lot of help. This world bombards us with trials and temptations and it is so overwhelming at times. But... in thinking deeper, we would not need self-help, if we put all our focus on God. If every living moment we stand in HIS presence, praising HIM, thanking HIM and seeking HIM. We would be so filled with HIS Holiness, HIS love and HIS light that we would radiate it to others... nothing of our own doing. It would be God shining through us. Our insecurities would wash away, for we would begin to understand Who HE IS. We would then start understanding who we are, a sinful people, in need of a Savior, but loved so greatly by our Creator, that HE sacrificed Himself for our sins.

I am not sure exactly what my friend is learning in class or what thoughts are stirring in her, but mine have spun in many directions. Mainly: Is God first in my life? Is HE being praised, honored, worshiped and glorified? Am I so caught up in fixing me, that I have forgotten what my life is for?

Deep thoughts.

Thanks, my friend, for the significant thought I will be pondering for some time... if not for always. I pray it changes me, not only my focus, but how I live.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

As I ponder my life and the events and circumstances I have lived through. I wonder if I have actually made any plans? I am not a dreamer, for the most part. I have never been one to set goals or to decide things too far into the future. I have the "normal" hopes for my future... A wonderful Godly husband, who is the Spiritual leader of our family. A moderate home and income. A vacation or two a year and possibly one in the Mediterranean someday. The most I dream for is a home on the water or a cottage on a lake. (I love the constant breeze that comes off of big water... it refreshes me). So... thinking on the verse above... what plans have I made for my life... how am I living out the gifts and talents God has blessed me with? How am I sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with those around me? Are my plans lining up with God's desires for my life? What does God desire from me? It makes me think about the following verses:

Now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?

Deuteronomy 10:12-13 NIV

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these."

Mark 12:28-31 NIV

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27 NIV

After meditating on those verses... what are the plans for my life? How am I loving God, loving others, serving God and serving others? How am I loving my neighbor... okay..., not the nice ones that are all smiles and friendly, not the friends that I have that are so easy to love... but how am I loving the "unlovable", the people that do not respond with kind words, the ones that cut me off in traffic, the disobedient kids in the store, the alcoholic that is begging for money to buy more outside the local Walgreens, the people that talk behind your back... when you have no idea what you did to offend them? Also, where do any of my plans lead in regards to looking after the orphans and the widows? I am not talking about an occasional visit to the little cute lady from church, not that she does not appreciate it, but how am I meeting her needs. While my heart has always been soft for orphan children or kids in the foster care system... I have done nothing to move forward in those areas. Someday... I say, someday when I get married, perhaps my husband will desire to do foster care or adopt. But I am talking about today... what am I going to do this week, this month, today??

How am I keeping myself from being polluted by the sinfulness of this world? Do I change what I watch on TV, do I stop buying magazines that are so focused on beautiful people and things? There are some things I do to protect myself, but then there are other things I do to step right into the path of our enemy, satan. Must be more mindful of what I do and why I do things.

So... very long post and no one will probably ever read it... but if you do read this. What are you doing in your life regarding the above verses? If you have any encouraging words to get a fire lit under me... please send them. It is so easy for me to have these thoughts, but not be changed by them... again another quote to end my thoughts:

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and carry on as if nothing happened.

The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis

Indeed, the safest road to hell is the gradual one, the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones without signposts.

The Screwtape Letters

Something to Ponder

"Men are in a restless pursuit after satisfaction in earthly things. They will exhaust themselves in the deceitful delights of sin, and, finding them all to be vanity and emptiness, they will become very perplexed and disappointed. But they will continue their fruitless search. Though wearied, they still stagger forward under the influence of spiritual madness, and though there is no result to be reached except that of everlasting disappointment, yet they press forward. They have no forethought for their eternal state; the present hour absorbs them. They turn to another and another of earth's broken cisterns, hoping to find water where not a drop was ever discovered yet."

Charles Spurgeon

Having a Thankful Heart

So this morning I was grumbling about my furnace kicking on last night. My thermostat is set to 58... so it obviously got a bit chilly in my house. Pondering the thought of how much my gas bill will be each month this winter and wondering how to budget it in. Heaven forbid I actually cut back on luxury items. Ha! But God, graciously reminded me of how blessed I am to have a home, to have a warm bed, to have a job to earn money to pay for my heating bill, to have a working furnace, and to have a dad that helps to keep my home maintained.

I am truly blessed... beyond what I can even count. I have nothing to complain about... but yet I still complain. Oh how God must frown when the complaints start rolling in. His Word tells us how the Israelites complained in the desert, even after HE had freed them from slavery and provided for all their needs. I don't want to be like them. I want to fully appreciate all things and all situations, trusting that God is my Provider and I do not need to fear or worry.... or complain. Christ died to free us from sin (and the slavery to it). I need to start living in that freedom and live in the awareness of all the blessings God sends my way. Even through trials we are blessed, for when we are weak... HE is strong.

Philippians 2:14-15 (New International Version)

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

Favorite Quote

“Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness dismay us, and so we stay in the misty valleys and do not learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what we lose in our self indulgence. What glory awaits us if only we had the courage for the mountain climb. What blessing we should find if only we would move to the uplands of God.”

JRM